Innerstellar Arcadia

What is the Christian way to confess sin without excusing myself and without despairing of God’s mercy? The Christian way to confess sin is to stand before God without a disguise and without fleeing from his face. That sounds simple, but it is one of the hardest acts a soul can learn, because sin awakens two opposite instincts in us. One instinct tries to explain everything until the guilt becomes weightless: I was tired, I was hurt, I was pressured, I did not mean it that way, other people do worse. The other instinct does the opposite. It makes the guilt so heavy that mercy begins to seem indecent: I have failed again, I should know better, God must be tired of me, perhaps I am beyond help. Both instincts keep the self at the center. One protects the self from judgment. The other protects the self from being loved. Confession begins when you let both protections fall. To confess without excusing yourself does not mean pretending your circumstances did not matter. Sometimes fatigue ...

A dialogue on public courage, hidden fear, and speech under the Lordship of Jesus Christ: After evening prayer, when the chapel had emptied and the last candle had begun to lean in its own wax, the student remained by the door until the old confessor noticed him. Student: Father, I lost the day again. Confessor: Lost it how? Student: By keeping my peace where peace was not being made. By smiling when I should have refused. By calling it prudence afterward because cowardice has learned to wear clean clothes in me. Confessor: Sit down. Do not polish the wound before you show it. Student: I heard Christ’s name mocked, but not crudely enough for me to risk interrupting. I heard a man spoken of as though his poverty made him less human. I watched a friend bend the truth so everyone could remain comfortable. I saw the moment arrive. I knew it had arrived. Then I became reasonable. Confessor: Reasonable is often the name fear gives itself after the danger has passed. Student: Yes. And ...